Thursday, December 31, 2009


1) Learn how to say "no".
2) Stop being a fat cow.
3) Find a career.
4) Be less angry.
5) Take cabs more.


1) Give back to the community.
2) Bike to work.
3) Do an art project once a month.
4) Find love.


I speak the secret language of film fluently.

1. Kill Bill Vol. I
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
3. Donnie Darko
4. Royal Tennenbaums
5. Bad Santa
6. Shawn of the Dead
7. Pan’s Labyrinth
8. Punch Drunk Love
9. The Princess and the Warrior
10. Lost in Translation
11. Hairspray
12. The Life Aquatic
13. There Will Be Blood
14. The Incredibles
15. Millions
16. The Reader
17. Capote
18. United Flight 93
19. Juno
20. Half Nelson
21. Little Miss Sunshine
22. Lars and the Real Girl
23. Dark Knight
24. Blackhawk Down
25. The Man Who Wasn’t There
26. Superbad
27. La Vie en Rose
28. 28 Months Later
29. You Can Count on Me
30. Oh Brother Where Art Thou?
31. Sin City

32. V is for Vendetta

Go Fuck Yourself 2009

It's time to make some new resolutions:

1) I'm going to start running again. And run further than the 2 miles I was logging at the end of 2010.
2) I'm going to keep up with this motherfucking blog.
3) I'm going on a roadtrip - either South or West.
4) I'm going to join one of the following a) a class b) a society c) a club d) an organization.
5) I'm going to leave the house more.
6) I'm not going to buy anything major unless something breaks.
7) I'm going to eat more pancakes and chicken fried steak.
8) I'm going to try to not be so stupid when I get frazzled.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Here is why my iPhone is going to be the death of me

1. Texting is so easy. So, so easy. I feel 250% lazier already, and I've only used the thing for 2 1/2 days now.
2. It's making me a bad mother. Jude loves the games, and he's seen me playing them over and over and over, which makes it hard for me to act like I don't know there are games on the thing. And since the current theory is that maybe the Boy is ADD, it's probably not such a hot idea for him to be playing iPhone games all day (or at least telling his teacher that's what his mom let him do all Xmas break).
3. The apps are killing me. Yesterday I played Scrabble with a friend while I was at work and nearly killed the whole battery. And I got creamed. I'm no good at Scrabble, and I know it. Who am I kidding? And Moron Test, I am so NOT a moron. I don't care what you say. I'll just keep on playing you until I prove it. Got it?

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Christmas Time in Reverse

Here is a brief recap of Christmas 2009.

Christmas Eve
There was a shit-ton of snow. So much that we were not able to take grandma to Chuck's as planned. Instead, we loaded up a ton of food and presents, and went to her apartment. Chuck made stroganoff. Chelsey and I made cupcakes. We opened presents and were all pleased with all the badass stuff we got. I got a nightshirt, which I have wanted for the longest. Now I just need a sleeping cap. Chelsey got a watch which looks like a gold version of mine. I think maybe she is in love with me so much that she wants to bite my style. I'm cool with it though, because I love her so much too. Chuck got our old camera - which I felt bad about giving him, even though we got him something new too. He took it like a champ. Then we played cards, and I brought surprise gifts for all the winners. This went over very well. I won a McDonalds gift card, which was the only thing I really wanted. Xmas eve was the highlight of the xmas with grandma.

Even more snow. This time there was so much snow that we couldn't get out of any of our houses. About 12 inches, with drifts up to 3 and 4 feet. Really amazing. I woke up at about 7am worrying about how we were going to make pancakes and get them to grandma's. Fortunately, the weather effectivley killed these plans, but not before I spent the morning fretting about how I was going to tell grandma we weren't going to make it. But once we got that out of the way, I am pleased to say I had the best Christmas I could remember in a long time. Spent the day sitting on a couch with Chelsey, drinking booze and watching movies. So relaxing. So happy. Until we got a bit too drunk and Chelsey started dropping things (spaghetti and a full negroni) and I started falling asleep. Probably could have done without that, but it didn't diminish the day.

Saturday was lousy we were able to get out of the house, so Chuck picked us up and took us to his house, where Chuck and I made dinner and Chelsey tried not to be too hung over. It was clear that our hearts weren't exactly in it at that point, what with the weather, the fact that it was no longer Christmas, and the fact that two of us were going to have to work that night. We brought over food, mosly picked at it, and opened our stockings. The stockings went well, although it seemed a little pointless. It seems that stockings come down to three factions. The 1) "I don't give a shit about this" (Chelsey and Dave) 2) The "I really like to do this" (Brent, Mom, Wendy and Chuck), and 3) "I like the fact that I am involved in this, but not so much that I am going to make a decent stocking" (Dad and Grandma). Chuck and I did grandma's whole stocking (after she informed us it needed to get done a week before xmas), only to get a lukewarm reception when we showed her what we got. And dad's stocking was a collection of things he had gotten last year in his stocking, things he got free at work, and like two things off the actual list of the person. Part of this is really fun. Part of it is no longer fun for me. Mostly the grandma stuff isn't fun. Because then Chuck and I get it on the other side. We get the pleasure of helping her put her stuff away. Hot damn. Anyways, after that we played cards. Then Chuck and I went to work. Again, exhausted by the end of the day.

Sunday can eat a dick. Chelsey went to Kearney and Chuck and I went to grandma's. Sick of grandma's, but went anyways. Helped her put shit away until she started to get crabby. I love the way Grandma slowly gets irritated with people who are helping her. She does this with everyone. Me, Jeanie, mom the most. Then the Saints somehow lost to the 2 and 12 Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I was not able to watch this game because I was hanging with my grandma for the 3rd of 4 days, and I was not able to keep tabs on it because my phone died. Found out the Saints lost while taking a break from Gram at Chuck's house. Tried to hide my anger and frustration at how the day was turning out during cards. This was helped by the fact that I beat the hell out of everyone in cards. Then we left. By that time I think both Chuck and I were eminating a desire to leave that was even detactable by grandma. We left as fast as we could. So happy the xmas weekend was over.

Oh and we got a Wii. Chelsey's fam got it for us. Kick ass.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Why 2010 is going to be better than 2009

Three reasons:

1) It will be pronounced "twenty ten." No one ever called this year "twenty oh nine."

2) I am going to keep track of everything that happened.

3) My wife has a scooter.