Monday, November 22, 2010

My Holiday Plan So Far

So I am trying to get the most out of my holidays this year.  This is what the plan looks like so far:

1) Finish Grapes of Wrath so I can start reading those "Girl Who Blah Blah Blah" books.  2010 has been a big year for me in the reading department.  I can think of no better way to end it, than to read some chain of popular fiction.  I've never done that before.  It's time.

2) Bake.  Last year my baking turned out horrible.  The peanut butter squares tasted weird.  It was a mess.  This year I plan on being more fastidious in my planning and implementation of treats.  It's going to be a whole new Brent and Chelsey treat spectacular.

3) Buy gifts early.  I vow to not go anywhere near a busy mall in December.  I'm also thinking about getting all my gifts at Sears.  Sears is great.  They cater to the old.  You know, children get older.  I'm getting older too. 

4) Listen to music.  I have a lot of albums to consider before the end of the year lists.  I'm hoping to combine this with items 1 and 5.

5) Figure out a workout schedule.  Now that I can't run outside, I don't know what to do.

6) Make cocktails.  I think maybe I haven't tried enough types of drinks.  What's in a rusty nail?  I should find out.

7) Finish the model that Chuck and I started back in August or whatever.  Fuck that model.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Trying To Do Thanksgiving

Man that hot dog costume turned out good.  I haven't written in a while, and I have some time to kill until Boardwalk Empire.  Since I last checked in, Chuck and I went to North Carolina to visit Mom and Dad and take Dad to a Saints game.   The trip turned out pretty darn good.  High points included watching old movies and slides.  Low points mostly had to do with Chuck blowing it from time to time.  He just kept making the wrong moves.  Also, on the way back from Charlotte, my dad told Chuck and I an assortment of stories from his youth.  After two or three, it became clear that he was just stealing themes and concepts from John Denver lyrics and turning them into a childhood.  Which was fine.  But I could see right through him.

Then I got back and Chelsey and I attended our first Nebraska game together the following week.  The Nebraska game was fun, except when we were walking in I got a little claustrophobic and asked Chelsey to stop touching me.  This was not well received.  I find that as I get older, I get weirder and weirder around crowds (and in general).  I hate being stuck in traffic  I hate being stuck in big crowds.  I hate all that stuff.  It makes me want to chew my arm off or something.  But once we got into the game I was fine, and Chelsey forgave me, and we had a nice time.

The next day Chuck and I went to a Creighton basketball game.  When we got to our seats, some lady was sitting in the seats and told Chuck that they were planning on spreading out for the game, and that we could sit elsewhere.  I hated this, but excepted it, because I didn't want to be mean about her stupid "I've made a decision that is totally going to put you out" ways.  Then I guess she changed her mind, and her and her daughter went to sit with her family.  The rest of the game is spent dodging the balloons of her two toddler daughters, and trying to act like I'm not annoyed by her kids.  Eventually her and her family end up coming into our row, going back to their row.  Splitting between the two rows, and finally both parents end up in our row, with the two toddlers unaccompanied and sitting in front of Chuck and I.   This last part made no sense to me.  Both Chuck and I wanted to kill the entire family.

Lastly, I believe Thanksgiving will go down like this this year:  Mom and Dad in town.  Dinner at our house.  Saints game on that night.  Many pies.  Grandma in.  Grandma out.  Lots of crockpots.  I hope it goes ok.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Trying To Do Halloween

Last year I bought a hotdog costume, vowing that I would finally start participating in a holiday that I have always kind of hated.  I did this for one reason:  Because my wife really likes it.  And I figure that she cheers for the Saints.  The least I can do is dress like a wiener.

So last year the costume showed up all wrinkly, and I couldn't do anything about it.  So it looked pretty shitty.  It has no form to it, so it just kind of hung there.

Note the filled in head.  That was all saggy last year.

This year I made some changes.

While watching the worst season finale to Project Runway ever, I sewed in a bunch of stuffing in key areas.  No one was more surprised than me to see that said changes actually worked.  Particularly on the head part.  I stuffed the shoulders too, but unfortunately the extra head stuffing negated the shoulder stuffing.  Fashion is so hard.

Note the puffy shoulders, and Chelsey's sexy gun.  

I also wrapped foil around the bottom portion of me, and called myself a Ballpark Frank.  This appeared to amuse no one but me.  And the foil kept falling off the first time I wore it, but I got it securely attached, and I think, if nothing else, it appeared confusing.  So there's that.