Wednesday, August 31, 2011

King Edith Bitches!

Scenes From a Delivery Room

So having a baby seems to suck.  I guess I already knew that.  But it's a much more visceral suckiness to watch your wife go through little moments of agony every 2-5 minutes.  She's doing a very good job of breathing through the contractions, and she's discovered cussing.  "Jesus Christ" seems to work the best.  But I hope "motherfucker" starts making an appearance when it gets worse.

Just in general, this has served as a reminder of how unrestful hospitals are.  This seems like the regiment they should employ in prison.  Wake you up every hour.  Fuck with you.  Give you drugs that make it worse.  And repeat.  I realize there's not a better way to do it, but it doesn't help matters to be sleep deprived and having labor pains.

The nurses are all nice though in their own way.  Our night nurse was a little annoying.  Our day nurse seems like she has more on the ball.  She calls us both by name, and she's very familiar.  And not in a "let me share some stories from my home life" familiar.  I hate those nurses.

There is so much pudding here.  It's amazing.  But no spoons.  Only forks.  Which isn't really a problem until the end.  You can't really scrape the bottom of a pudding cup with a fork.  We did have a nurse track down some spoons for us.  We now call her "Spoon Nurse."  Which is a shame because her real name is Candi.  And nurse Candi sounds like a porn name.

Chelsey is doing really good.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Edith Watch 2011

I guess everyone knows this, but Edith is scheduled to show up on the 31st.  We saw the doctor on Tuesday, and she scheduled it for us.  Chelsey is going in on the 30th, and she's getting induced the following morning.  We are so excited. 

It's funny how all the dread about being a parent melts away when faced with the fact that Edith is showing up on a concrete date.  I told a co-worker today that I'm so fired up, I plan on going in shirtless and oiled up.  Not sure how that would help, but that's how excited I am.  We both agreed I'd most likely be asked to leave.  So I'm not going to do that after all.

Also, because God hates us for not naming Edith after a saint, my car's muffler appears to have a hole in it due to rust.  The Versa sounds like some Asian kids souped up Honda.  It's embarrassing.  This happy little incident helped us learn that our car is no longer under the super-warranty we have enjoyed since we bought it.  Now it's just under a powertrain warranty.  Thanks for that too God.  Now that I think about it, we did name the dog after a Saint. 

So we have to pay for that.  And Deuce has a kidney stone so we may have to pay for that too.  But who cares?  I got a big fat promotion this week.  Well, it actually doesn't go through until January, but still.

King Edith is going to be so rich.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

If you guessed that by August 17th, I would have watched 123 movies . . .

. . . . you win the pool.

My book total stands at 18, with 3 books in progress (stupid Gravity's Rainbow!).

Just Want to See if this Damn Thing Works

That's what my dad used to say when we would try out answering machines for the first time.  I'm trying to test out my new feature that emails everyone when a new post goes up on my blog. 

King Edith Shows Face (Sort of)

Based on yesterday's doctor visit, sounds like Edith is still a week or so off, but we finally got some decent pictures of her. Do these look good to you? They look good to us. But we go to ultrasounds every week, so we're kind of used to the figuring out what's going on in the pictures.

The first one has her face, and what looks like her arm in the way. It actually looks like she's getting ready to flip us off, but I assume that is not the case.

The second one is more of a profile, but it looks like she is no longer flipping us the bird, so that's nice.

The third one finds her looking pissed off in general.   

Again - they look great to us, but if you can't see it so well, don't feel bad. We've been looking at these types of images for like 2 months now.

And we're both losing it a little.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Call the coast guard.

So it strikes me as strange at this point in the mourning process that there is nothing to be done to bring Angelique back. Maybe it's because I watch too many movies or have had a spoiled life, but it seems odd not to be at least trying something. Shouldn't I be hastily packing a bag for a Big Trouble in Little China style rescue mission or maybe in some kind of a rope chain along with Kari and members of her family so that someone can walk through the gap in dimensions to grab her. "Go towards the light, Angel!". It just sucks to have the realization that nothing can be done. She's gone. For good. I'm accustomed to inactivity due to my own laziness rather than having the doors to all remedies sealed shut. Maybe I'll start going to seances . . .

Monday, August 15, 2011

Because I want to be like Kent, but better

Yesterday I was carrying a box downstairs and missed a step.  I landed awkwardly on on the side of my foot and twisted my ankle around in a bad way.  Then I fell down the stairs. 

My first thought was "Oh, shit.  We're having a baby, and I just broke my ankle." I let out a scream of frustration and pain.  Chelsey came down to check on me.  I was trying to not throw up.  Then I threw the box at her on accident while I was trying to clear a path. 

But I was able to put weight on it.  And even though is swelled up like a grapefruit, I think it's just sprained.  So I am now officially hobbled for the arrival of this baby. 

But at least I didn't break my ankle.  Right before I moved from Atlanta to New Orleans. 

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Hot Dog!

So yesterday, Wendy sends us a ton of baby loot, and these two weiner-themed pieces of art. Super nice. She also sent this little night light that you put in the crib with the kid. It was a real nice surprise. Thank you sister. Art below (already framed - that's how much we liked it).

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Hospital Beds

Last afternoon we went to the hospital! King Edith has to pass all these indicators each week during our doctor visits so the doctor knows she doing ok. In order to pass these however, she has to be awake. Yesterday she was asleep. So they couldn't watch her breathe. So they sent us to the hospital. They hooked her up to a monitor. The King Edith did what she was supposed to do, and we went home. In the meantime Chelsey ate a sandwich, and I had some pudding. It was great. How we know where to go when the real thing happens. And now Chelsey knows how to turn on the TV.

For anyone interested, I still think she is coming on the 13th. That would be like four weeks early, but she's 6.5 pounds. She's ready.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

30 Day Music Challenge - Day 30

Song for Edith

Oh my god. We made it to the end. I acually ran out of categories because the person whose 30 Day Music Challenge I was following skipped a day by accident. So I figured this would be a good start for the baby mix that I will no-doubt create when Edith comes along.



Chuck - you are on your own. I don't know the names of any of those songs either.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

30 Day Music Challenge - Day 29

Favorite Song This Time Last Year

This is easy for me. I sometimes feel like Sleigh Bells were created somewhere by people catering to my musical tastes. And this was their crowning achievement.

Chelsey: Well this is a fine video.

Chuck's song. Chuck, it looks like I'm finally going to listen to this song.

Wendy's song. I'm very sorry about stealing Sleigh Bells.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

30 Day Music Challenge - Day 28

Song From Your Childhood

This is a really dumb way to end this thing.  But if we have to do it, this is one of the first things I remember listening to as a kid. This is Gene Vincent. He was like Elvis, except he wasn't cool at all. This explains a lot in retropsect.

Incidentally, here is the song being sung by two way cooler people: Jerry Lee Lewis and Elvis.

"Bang bang. Shoot 'em down. The party never ends."

Chuck's take on the uncool music we came to love as kids.

Wendy's! This is a slideshow video. The first slide is exceptional.


Monday, August 1, 2011

Spider Dream!


I had a dream last night where I was in a house full of spiders. Really big ones. They kind of looked like the bugs from Starship Troopers, and I tried to kill one with my hand and it was really hard. I tried to squash it, but it just withstood the pressure. I had to hit at it several times. So I was kind of on red alert and then my mom showed up. And suprisingly when I told her about the spider issue, she was totally ok with it. We walked into this room that was full of spiders, and instantly a big tarantula climbed on her back. She didn't freak out or anything. Just instructed me calmly to get something to knock the spider off with. Which I did. I finally woke up a little freaked out.


I think the spiders symbolized the many things I'm freaked out about with this kid on the way - which explains why my mom wasn't phased by them. Spiders were a good choice, as I am not necesarily afraid of them, but if I was in a room full of them I would certainly not be at ease. Also, I think the weird looking spiders at beginning represented the fact that there will be unexpected things that I don't see now that will unnerve me after Edith gets here.

Thanks brain. I was hoping for some reminders about how unprepared I am for parenthood.

30 Day Music Challenge - Day 27

Song That Makes You Feel Guity

When Carissa's Wierd said "saying sad things that don't make sense just makes you look like a liar," I knew exactly who they were talking to.


Wendy! Sorry - this was the best I could do.

Kent. I've never seen this video before. So dumb!