Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Call the coast guard.

So it strikes me as strange at this point in the mourning process that there is nothing to be done to bring Angelique back. Maybe it's because I watch too many movies or have had a spoiled life, but it seems odd not to be at least trying something. Shouldn't I be hastily packing a bag for a Big Trouble in Little China style rescue mission or maybe in some kind of a rope chain along with Kari and members of her family so that someone can walk through the gap in dimensions to grab her. "Go towards the light, Angel!". It just sucks to have the realization that nothing can be done. She's gone. For good. I'm accustomed to inactivity due to my own laziness rather than having the doors to all remedies sealed shut. Maybe I'll start going to seances . . .


  1. I cannot tap in to this emotion at all personally, but this has got to tbe the bargaining phase of grief, right? I can't remember them, all but I do remember bargaining is one of them. Now at least I know what it looks like. I know that's of little consolation.

  2. On further review, I'm not sure any of these apply all that well:

    Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
    Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death.
    Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
    Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.
    Bargaining — "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
    The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just do something to buy more time..."
    Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
    During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
    Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
    In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with her/his mortality or that of a loved one.

  3. Oh - and these appear to deal with a person who is dying.

  4. I really think I'm just up against the fact that most things in life seem workable these days. Something can be done; it's just a matter of if you want to go to the trouble to do it. Death, which I have precious little experience with, just kind of stops the train in its tracks. I did enjoy reading the stages though. I wonder if the stages have changed now that everyone knows them and will consciously try not to fall into cliched behavior.