
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The Wrong Hands

UPDATE
Re-reading this, I now realize that it sounds like there is blood coming out of my ear canals. This is not the case. Although that may actaully be less gross than having ears that are so dry the skin cracks and bleeds. Also - they both seem to have stopped.
I remain at least 20% grosser than most everyone I know.
Monday, January 25, 2010
I don't know how to love in this way
1. not watch the game at all, eat lots of chips and dip
2. root for the saints, eat lots of chips and dip
3. root for the colts by myself in a hermetically sealed room- note to self: place chips and dip in room before sealing
4. bite the bullet and watch the game with brent and others, eat sedatives
Why can't it be all about me for once?
I guess you people have a thing against transvestites. Jerks.
You see, I don't get out much, so this may be as big as it gets for me for quite a while.
Friday, January 22, 2010

i get my stuff and head to the line. there's a guy who is obviouslyall flustered, and cant seem to pick which line he wants to get in.he's a couple steps ahead of me. i go towards the line i think isshortest, and he almost goes in that one too, but instead he walks alittle further to see what the other lines are like. he doesn't likethem and turns around to get in the original line.
except, now i am in the line already in front of me. had he justgotten in line, he would have been first. instead, now i am.
he proceeds to stand about 1 foot from me and sighs really loudly. iturn to look at him, and he says "can i get in front of you, i have aworkman waiting for me?"
i say "sure, go ahead." and i take a step back.
then, totally unable to stop myself, i say, "if your time is morevaluable then mine, go right ahead."
he says he doesnt' want any trouble, which made me feel prettyawesome, as i dont ever feel like a person that could be seen as thetype to give a stranger trouble.
i say " no, go on ahead" but he refuses and goes to another lane.
then i felt bad. i wasn't in a rush, i didn't have to go anywhere, iwas just being an asshole. so i figured some bad karma was due myway. i think it evened out when the security patrol guy was idling inthe empty spot in front of the house that i usually park in, and i hadto park down the block, and then again when i had to go back to homedepot to get more wire, because i fucked up measuring.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
FML - Why Golf is the Worst Thing Ever
Until this morning, when I got a call from a place called Credit Counseling Services, who informed me that Allstate (his insurance company) was trying to recoup the entire anoumt of the repairs from me. about $900. So after many phone calls to Allstate and CCS, it was determined that he most likely just put my name on the accident report, and since I was dumb enough to pay him in cash, I have no record of paying his deductible. Thus, Allstate is coming after me for the whole enchilada. Again, fuck me. I talked them down to $500, but then decided I should probably talk to Wendy and Dave about this. So I got off the phone.
Then it occurred to me: all they have is my name and phone number. And the case is sitting in the tort system. What are the odds they are going to pursue this over $900.00? I don't want to fuck up my credit, but do they actually have a case against me? I'm not trying to be sneaky here. And I wasn't trying to be sneaky when I paid his deudctible. It seemed like a legit thing to do. I feel like I have fulfilled my obligation to this issue. I paid $250.00 or $300.00 or whatever it was. That was supposed to resolve the issue. And even if I had a receipt, wouldn't that only settle the matter bewteen me and the guy I hit? The insurance company would probably still come after me. This seems very wrong. I could have settled it through my own insurance company for $500, if I have know this was going to haoppen. Curses!
Wendy, what do you think?
Friday, January 15, 2010
BRENT'S GREATEST ALBUMS OF 2009
14) Girls – Album. Girls started out as annoying garage music. Then it got a little charming. Then it just ended up being charming. Then it was 14.
13) Camera Obscura – This band can do no wrong in my ears, but they will probably never crack the top 5 in any countdown of mine because their style can only go so far. But they do it very well, and I want to live in their songs.
12) Handsome Furs – This was an album of nearly great songs that got by on the fact that all the songs were nearly great. This is a man/woman band, and they take really sexy pictures together, which (along with their connection to Wolf Parade) may have something to do with their spot on this list.
11) It’s True – Chelsey’s friend Hayden put this on our computer when she was staying with us. Further proof that once can listen to heaps of music from all over and be clueless about good things that are playing down the road from him. If you love heart-on-sleeve music, this is for you. If you don’t, this entire list may not be for you.
10) Yacht – Electronic pop music done in such a way that I like it. This is a tall feat. Chelsey doesn’t like it that much, which is puzzling to me.
09) The XX – Even though this only hit third, I think it is the album that I would most widely recommend. There’s something going on here that is just…sexy. And I don’t throw that word around. I promise. I wish I had a better word already.
08) Cass McCombs – A nice part of listening to 8000 albums a year is that some stick for no good reason. I like this album. I don’t expect you to. It’s slow and pretty with nice harmonies. And it has a song that has “See You Next Tuesday” in the refrain. Which is the name of my Tuesday drinking club.
07) The Flaming Lips – I’m so happy the Flaming Lips made a good album again. They were certainly due. Gets back to what they do well. Gets away from why they have sucked for the last 5 years.
06) Generationals – Ok here we go. Phil Spector meets Paul Simon meets Vampire Weekend meets Pet Shop Boys. From New Orleans. Good stuff.
05) Neko Case – Neko Case is my girlfriend. We met this year, and now we are going out. It’s serious. This album is about nature kicking human ass. Possibly out of love.
04) Rural Alberta Advantage – Kent calls this second-rate Neutral Milk Hotel. He may be right. But I like it better than most of what came out in 2008. And I think it was just re-released in 2009, but I am counting it as a 2009.
03) Yeah Yeah Yeah’s – This album is a poor man’s version of my number one. It’s got one badass song on it, and bunch of other songs that are badass to a lesser extent.
02) Antlers – Hospice – This is a poorly recorded album about a person caring for another person in Hospice care. Despite the sound quality, it wins you over. More than once I have caught myself craning my neck trying to make out lyrics because I am just that emotionally involved. This is a little pathetic. But there’s nothing I can do about it.
01) Elvis Perkins in Dearland – This was the best album of the year, hands down. Doomsday is the best song of the year, and the rest of the album isn’t too far behind. Note to everyone: if you want to make an album, hire a brass band to play on it. Boom! Great album. It makes all music 20% better.
For further muscial enjoyment, I would like to inviet everyone to view the yearly music posts on my friend kent's website - elbuzzard.com. here you go. I even gave you a link: http://www.elbuzzard.com/archives/2009/12/best-music-of-2009
Kent has better taste in music than me. So you will like that.
CHELSEY'S GREATEST ALBUMS OF 2009
2. The XX The XX
3. It's True There, There, Now...
4. Elvis Perkins In Dearland Elvis Perkins In Dearland
5. Generationals Con Law
6. Lady GaGa The Fame Monster
7. Neko Case Middle Cyclone
8. Twilight: New Moon Soundtrack
9. Kelly Clarkson - All I Ever Wanted
10. Flight of the Conchords I Told You I Was Freaky
11. Dead Man's Bones Dead Man's Bones
12. Micachu & the Shapes Jewellery
13. Rural Alberta Advantage - Hometowns
14. Passion Pit Manners
15. Discovery LP
BRENT'S GREATEST SONGS OF 2009
- Doomsday Elvis Perkins In Dearland Elvis Perkins In Dearland
- Zero Yeah Yeah Yeahs It's Blitz!
- Watching The Planets The Flaming Lips Embryonic
- The Afterlife YACHT See Mystery Lights
- Holy, Holy, Holy Moses (song for New Orleans Alec Ounsworth Mo Beauty
- When They Fight They Fight Generationals Con Law
- VCR The xx The xx
- Dominos The Big Pink A Brief History Of Love
- The Reeling Passion Pit Manners
- Don't Forget Me Neko Case Middle Cyclone
- This Love Is Fucking Right The Pains of Being Pure at Heart The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
- Two The Antlers Hospice [Remastered]
- Psychic City YACHT See Mystery Lights
- Edmonton The Rural Alberta Advantage Hometowns
- Sleep All Summer - St. Vincent and The National St. Vincent and The National SCORE! 20 Years of Merge Records: THE COVERS!
- Honestly It's True There, There, Now...
- I Heard Your Voice In Dresden Elvis Perkins In Dearland Elvis Perkins In Dearland
- There Are Maybe Ten or Twelve A.C. Newman Get Guilty
- Home Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
- Calculator Micachu & the Shapes Jewellery
- Yeah! Oh, Yeah! - Tracey Thorn Tracey Thorn SCORE! 20 Years of Merge Records: THE COVERS!
- Shelter The xx The xx
- Bad Romance Lady GaGa The Fame Monster
- Genius Next Door Regina Spektor Far
- Drain the Blood The Rural Alberta Advantage Hometowns
- Middle Cyclone Neko Case Middle Cyclone
- Hey Elvis Perkins In Dearland Elvis Perkins In Dearland
- Harmonia Cass McCombs Catacombs
- French Navy Camera Obscura My Maudlin Career
- Fuck You Lily Allen It's Not Me, It's You
- 123 Goodbye Elvis Perkins In Dearland Elvis Perkins In Dearland
- Bear The Antlers Hospice
- Lose Your Soul Dead Man's Bones Dead Man's Bones
- Carol Brown Flight of the Conchords I Told You I Was Freaky
- Waving At The Shore Throw Me The Statue Creaturesque
- With All My Heart Clem Snide Hungry Bird
- Send My Fond Regards To Lonelyville Elvis Perkins In Dearland Elvis Perkins In Dearland
- Orange Shirt Discovery LP
- In the Summertime The Rural Alberta Advantage Hometowns
- Lionkiller Got Married Cass McCombs Catacombs
- Nobody Could Change Your Mind Generationals Con Law
- In the Room Where You Sleep Dead Man's Bones Dead Man's Bones
- Laura Girls Album
- Oh No Andrew Bird Noble Beast
- James Camera Obscura My Maudlin Career
- Epistemology M. Ward Hold Time
- Goddamn Girls Album
- You Go On Ahead (Trumpet Trumpet II) Sunset Rubdown Dragonslayer
- Don't Haunt This Place The Rural Alberta Advantage Hometowns
- Never Had Nobody Like You (Featuring Zooey Deschanel) M. Ward Hold Time
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I am open to learning your favorite music of 2009.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Hospitals and Sledding
Which moves the onus over to her caregivers to bridge that gap. And I for one am sick of it. I think everyone else is too. It's too hard to continue to maintain her current expectations of life, without inconveniencing your own to some degree. It builds resentment up and down the chain of relationships in my life. It strains my relationship with her, with my mom, with my wife, and with my brother from time to time. I know she wouldn't want this. But not so much that she wouldn't want her current level of life-catering to quit. We're all just stuck.
I know I have said that grandma's level of satisfaction must be low, but I also know that she has no interest in dying. She has said more than once that she wants to see "how it will all turn out." I think this is a funny concept. Like there is an ending to this story where Chelsey and I have a kid, Jude and Zoe graduate college, and Chuck gets married. That's a romantic notion. You have to like that. But it's also a little nutso.
So we continue to hope for the best. And prepare for the worst. At some point I wont have grandma to write about. And I'm sure I will miss her. But this past Sunday, because she was in the hospital, and because mom was in town to stay with her, we went sledding. For one week, we had a Sunday afternoon that was congruent with most people's Sundays. We did exactly what we wanted to do. It was fun and carefree and not hard.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wendy's New Year's Resolution
I mean, really. Not kidding. Lose a damn 5 pounds. You did it last year. You can do at least that much this year. And quit gaining, Wendy. Do you think that's helping anything??
For the month of December I had almost no appetite. I don't know if it was because I had to spend Thanksgiving with the Pryors or Mom was coming or Dave hates Xmas or Jude was being labled ADD-boy or what. But I wasn't even hungry for food or sweets or whatever during Xmas. And I want that feeling back.
Monday, January 4, 2010
BRENT'S GREATEST ALBUMS OF THE 2000s
1. Black Sheep Boy Definitive Edition-
2. Yankee Hotel Foxtrot - Wilco (2002) - Wilco made a great great album. Then they spent the rest of decade being lousy. At least we have this. Songs about 9/11, American guilt, lost youth, ick of getting old.
Favorite songs: Jesus, Etc, Ashes of American Flags, I'm the Man Who Loves You
3. Funeral -
Favorite songs: Neighborhood #1, Neaghborhood #2, Wake Up
4. Alligator - The National (2005) - This segues nicely into Funeral actaully. I learned about The National when they went out on tour with Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - who were one of the aforementioned next big thing band. CYHSY did put out a fine album that year, but Alligator got played by me over and over. Unlike most of the albums on this list, Alligator kind of runs the gammut in its subject matter. The National usually sing about relationships and growing old, but this mixes in just enough neurosis to come off a little Modest Mouse crazy too.
Favorite songs: Mr. November, Daughters of the Soho Riots, Karen
5. Sharpen Your Teeth (2002) - Ugly Casanova - At first it bothered me that I didn't have any Modest Mouse or White Stripes. Then I realised that Ugly Casanova is Isaac Brock's best work of the decade, and I never cared that much for any White Stripes album. This is a side project for Brock and this guy from a band called Hollowpaw. Also I just looked it up on wikipedia and it turns out there were two other guys in the group too. Go figure. Anyways it takes all the desperate nasty stuff from Modest Mouse, and adds horns. I like horns. "Sharpen your teeth or lay flat." Most of the lines are some version of that.
Favorite songs: Hotcha Girls, Cat Faces
6. Apologies to Queen Mary (2005) - Wolf Parade - This album starts out like a ball of fire. Then it kind of goes to sleep. Then it comes back around again. But I would put its high points up against any other album. I don't understand why my own brother doesn't like it more. Wolf Parade also serves as a nice analogy for my relationsip with Kent. The band is composed of two singers. They each have their own band as well as Wolf Parade. One looks like he has a heroin problem and is in a band that makes sexy urgent songs with his big breasted girlfriend (me), and the other makes really difficult music on his keyboard with his nerdlinger friends (Kent).
Best Songs: Sons and Daughters of Hungry Ghosts, We built Another World, I'll Believe in Anything.
7. Give Up - The Postal service (2003) - I still remember the first time I heard this album. I was painting my mom and dad's back patio, and I had just downloaded it from Napster. I was completely unimpressed. I no longer base my opinions of albums off one listen. I don't know what was wrong with me that day, but I cannot imagine not enjoying this album. Dumb me. This album also claims to have Jenny Lewis on it, though I have never been able to tell where she is.
Best Songs: Such Great Heights, Nothing Better, The District Sleeps Alone Tonight
8. I'm wide Awake, It's Morning - Bright Eyes (2005) - There is nothing more embarrassing than living in Omaha admitting that you like Bright Eyes. Everyone here used to hang out with Conner Oberst at one time or another, and as such, think they are too cool to be a fan of him. I wash my hands of this. This is a great album. It's a crying shame that nothing else by Bright Eyes or Oberst has come anywhere this album the rest of the decade. One thing I know for sure: Making art is often like this. You dabble in it. Then it gushes out of you like a geyzer. Then it turns into a trickle. This was made during the geyzer period for this band. Songs about being young and everything/nothing mattering.
Best Songs: Lua, Landlocked Blues, We Are Nowhere, and It's Now.
9. Volume One - She & Him (2008) - "Cried all night 'til there was nothing more. What use am I as a heap on the floor." Zooey Deschanel made a beautiful record with M. Ward. From beginning to end this is a pitch perfect rehash of the sound of people like The Carpenters, The Beach Boys, Loretta Lynn, and Phil Spector. Recommendable to just about anyone. The only weak spot are some of the covers. Particularly "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot."
Best Songs: Sentimental Heart, Sweet Darlin', Why Do You Let Me Stay Here, This Is Not a Test.
10. Bright Flight - The Silver Jews (2001) - This is my favorite band, and this album has one of my songs of all time on it. The more I think about it, the more I think this should be higher. I think it suffers from the fact that its predecessors were so good, it didn't stick out that much. But both American Water and The Natural Bridge came out in the 1990s, so by the time this one came out, it just seemed like more of the same. But the song Tennessee is a masterpiece in my opinion, and I Remember You is my favorite song about falling asleep on a relationship.
Best Songs: Tennessee, I Remember You, Let's Not and Say We Did, Death of an Heir of Sorrows
11. Separation Sunday - The Hold Steady (2005) - I didn't care for this album until I heard Your Little Hoodrat Friend on KEXP one day. Then I started mowing the lawn to Seperation Sunday. Each song is a little narrative from the point of view of someone in a particular druggy scene. And there's a lot of bible in there too. My firend Kent's grandpa told him that the early twenties should be about romance and adventure. If he had taken out romance, and inserted drugs, he would be describing Seperation Sunday.
Best Songs: Little Hoodrat Friend, Cattle and the Creepy Things, How a Resurrection Really Feels
12. Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles (2008) - I completely missed this album in 2008. It was described as electronica, and I have learned through the years that I usually hate electronica. But this is just song after song of loud clangy catchy music set to heavy beats. Lots of screaming. Actually I think it's all screaming. It's both offensive and interesting to the ear. Everything I have written thus far makes it sound lousy. But it's not.
Best Soungs: Untrust Us, Love and caring.
13. Oh, Inverted World - The Shins (2001) - I remember thinking how weird this album sounded when I first got it. At that time, weird was mostly done by singing about weird stuff (Flaming Lips), screaming about normal stuff (Modest Mouse), or singing about weird stuff over weird music (Radiohead). The Shins were weird because of how they layered their harmonies and how they recorded their very conventional set of instruments. Caring is Creepy starts the album with these bizarre piano flourishes. I had no idea what they were when I first listened. And the rest of the album followed suit. Weird layering of voices and instruments. I feel like this album did everything that Grizzley Bear and Animal Collective continue to do. Which perhaps is why I don't see the point of those bands.
Favorite Songs: New Slang, Caring is Creepy, Girl Inform Me
14. Elvis Perkins in Dearland - Elvis Perkins in Dearland (2009) - This Album could very well end up higher as I get further away from 2009. Elvis Perkins ended the decade by writing a collection of really solid songs, and then he recorded them with a brass band, which made them all awesome songs. This album didn't show up on anyones Best of the Year list. Which shows that everyone is stupid.
Favorite Songs: Doomsday, 123 Goodbye, Hey, Heard Your Voice in Dresden
15.
Favorite Songs: The Underdog, Black Like Me
16. Songs About Leaving - Carissa's Weird (2002) - This is quiet sad sad music. It's about breaking up. I listen to it when I am having relationship troubles and it always strikes a nerve somewhere. It does a very nice job of capturing the sliver of a relationship that is built around phoniness. Knowing you aren't quite what the other person is counting on you to be.
Favorite Songs: So You Want to Be a Superhero, Low Budget Slow Motion Soundtrack Song for the Leaving Scene, Sofisticated Fuck Princess Please Leave Me Alone (I never realized how long the song titles were. Thank god this came out after my writing song titles on mixtape covers era)
17. Z - My Morning Jacket (2005) - If their most recent album is any indication, this may be as good as My Morning Jacket is going to get. They have always tetered between spacy and folksie. Usually their folksie stuff is good, but they get into some painful jam sessions along the way. On this album they put all that aside, and just made an album with a ton of echos and reverb.
Favorite Songs: Wordless Chorus, Off the Record, Into the Woods
18. Oh, You're So Silent Jens - Jens Lekman (2005) - This is actaully a compilation, but as it was my first exposure to Jens Lekman, I picked it over Night Falls Over Kortedala. Jens Lekman seems to be continually caught between falling in love and tearing his heart out. There are no boring spots in there.
Favorite Songs: Maple Leaves, Sweet Summer Night on Hammer Hill, F Word
19. Her Majesty The Decemberists - The Decemberists (2003) - The Decemberists have broken my heart. They came along as this cutesy story telling band, and they made three really good albums that were both dark and fun, and reminded me of the type of folk music my parents listened to when they were my age. But that concept could only go so far. So they decided to be a prog rock band. This concept doesn't go anywhere at all. But this album is smack dab in the middle of their best time.
Favorite Songs: Los Angeles, I'm Yours, Red Right Ankle, The Bachelor and the Bride
20. So Jealous - Tegan and Sara (2004)- I remember listening to this album at my now wife Chelsey's apartment in 2004, waiting for her to get ready to go out. At that time I thought of Tegan and Sara as kind of a novelty act. Twin lesbian sisters who Neil Young champions. It sounds like a novelty act. Obviously I was wrong. This album has no bad songs on it. It has that shiny production that seems to serve guitar pop really well. A little like Smashing Pumpkins used to use. It suits their voices which already sound like metal.
Favorite Songs: You Wouldn't Like Me, I Won't Be Left, Walking With a Ghost
AND MORE TO COME!
21. Fate - Dr. Dog
22. The XX - The XX
23. Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like a Peasant - Belle and sebastian
24. The Execution of All Things - Rilo Kiley
25. The Meadowlands - The Wrens
26. Broken Social Scene - Broken Social Scene
27. Eagle*Seagull - Eagle*Seagull
28. Back to Black - Amy Winehouse
29. And Then Nothing Turned Inside Out - Yo La Tengo
30. Sound of Silver - LCD Soundsystem
31. Boxer - The National
32. The Midnight Organ Fight - Frightened Rabbits
33. Oracular Spectacular - MGMT
34. Alopecia - Why?
35. Chutes Too Narrow - The Shins
